In 2017, the Ohio DMV declined to allow over 300 vanity plates from drivers who want to be cheeky. Some are obvious, like the Trump call-outs listed in the article. Some require a much deeper-dive, and possibly a Google.
It’s not confirmed exactly how many individual jokers we are talking about here, but there is at least some overlap. “SND NUDZ,” “SNDNUDS,” “SND NUDE,” and “SND NUD3” must be the same person… right? Of course, an eight-character license plate doesn’t allow enough room to explain where to send the nude photos this individual so craved. I can only assume thousands around the Buckeye state holding on to nude photos of themselves, unaware of this driver’s requests.
Many on this list use the shorthand “AF” at the end. Clever, except that the joke is old by now, and the expectation of a bleary-eyed DMV official haphazardly rubber-stamping a vanity plate approval, is quite unlikely. Similarly, the concept that no one would question saying “DDZZNTS” out loud, is really not giving our government officials their due.
“IMTXTNG” is actually something that should have been approved, as it would help their future accident victims win in court. Ohio’s DMV might not have as much clairvoyance to allow that. Also, while “IM FKN L8” isn’t always going to apply to the driver, it should come in handy to get out of a speeding ticket. Imagine a Cop’s face when he or she goes to write that one down!
“PWR BTTM” is another one that should have gone through, as it might help spark quite a few love connections? Love should always win, even in The Ohio State.
If I had to pick a favorite, it would be “MUD SLUT” by a wide margin. While “MUD BTCH” is good, it conjures images of someone who is unclean, and unkempt. “MUD SLUT,” on the other hand, paints a more vivid picture of a mud-loving Ohioan. As my Grandmother used to say, “Where there’s mud, there’s sluts.”
Puns are always welcome. “JEEP SHT” is funny, and hopefully was meant for a Jeep. “PRIASS” is also presumably meant for a Prius, right? Oh well, as the plate almost said, “FUHQALL.”
Some are more subtle. “HBIC FOX” must be referring to Rupert Murdoch? Similarly, Ajit Pai must have registered “FCC ME,” because the FCC is… him. The rhyming “ASSGAS” is just memorable. “MURDER2” did not pass muster, but perhaps there’s “MURDER1” already out there somewhere?
Finally, there’s “PB4UGQ.” As we all know, this stands for “Peanut Butter 4 (sic) Utah’s GQ [Magazine].” Must be an Big Ten thing?
To avoid this for 2018, here’s a few suggestions for Ohio-related vanity plates that just might get approved:
- “TCHDJSUS” (never forget Touchdown Jesus)
- “PERCHSLT” fits in eight letters, and lets everyone know how much you love Lake Erie Perch fish sandwiches
- “THEOHIOS” captures the most important part of OSU’s name, the “The”
- “TOLEDOAF” if you’re Toledo AF
- “HRDROCKS” for those who love the Hard Rock Cafe
- “MELT AF” to show how much you like grilled cheese eateries
- “FSTAMP” to commemorate the Free Stamp, the world’s largest rubber stamp… or whatever else you want “F” to stand for
- “CLEISLIT” (either “Cleveland is Lit” or a misspelling of female anatomy)